I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE...

Terranova postulates possible E3 predicitions. And because I threw a sacrificed chicken over my shoulder, I am able to offer my foolproof foretellings.

-- IGE stops leeching off the hard work of others and announces it has set its army of farmers to work on creating its own MMO. Characters begin as a skilless untextured model and players are required to buy hair, a GUI, and the ability to move upper limbs in an overarm slicing action. All goes well at the E3 demonstration until it is discovered no one purchased the newbie area and characters plummet to their death-loop.

-- John Smedley begins signing up booth babes for the Miss Norrath competition. The Smed is seen half an hour later nursing a black eye after asking the Fragdolls if they wanted to play with his joystick.

-- The E3 showroom floor breaks out into a large-scale fight after one employee at the DAOC booth calls the employees milling around the EQII booth "Station Exchange sell-outs". Nearby SWG fans dressed up as Stormstroopers attempt to intervene but are soon torn to bloody pieces. In his report, the state coroner states the cause of death is "a large combat upgrade blow to the head".

-- Pizza Hut delivery drivers go on strike after no one offers to pay for the 327 pizzas ordered from the EQII demonstration booth.

-- People attempting to visit the FFXI booth are forced to turn back after finding it blocked off and camped by life-like cardboard cutouts.

-- Blizzard leaks announces the first WoW expansion. The resulting crusing throng of bodies around the WoW booth is soon alleviated after Blizzard employees move their friends to a new secret booth on the other side of the exhibition hall. Meanwhile, at the other booth, all high-end content is already farmed by a Paladin at the end of Day 2 of E3.

-- Richard Garriot announces that Tabula Rasa has been taken back to the drawing board once again. It will now be based on Roman civilization and mythology.

-- Publishers announce more MMO titles than ever before. Jumps onto the bandwagon include a Grand Theft Auto MMO, an Unreal MMO, and a Fallout MMO. Oh, wait...

Comments

[Rich]

Characters begin as a skilless untextured model and players are required to buy hair, a GUI, and the ability to move upper limbs in an overarm slicing action.

Isn't that an integral part of the XBOX 360 business model?