n3rfed

THE NUMBERS GAME

800,000 and 750,000 - The number of WoW copies sold and subscriptions subscribed in North America.

13 out of 93 - The number of WoW servers down this weekend for about an entire day.

Over 100,000 - The potential number of players affected by this outage.

600 and 50 - The average amount of people in the queue and the average queue wait in minutes.

0 - The number of players Blizzard is planning on transferring between servers.

1 - The number of Blizzard Presidents wearing money hats.

3 - The number of players that will actually quit as a result of this weekend.

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND BRIBE PEOPLE

It seems the recent attention hasn't dampened IGE's enthusiasm to have more self-effigies burned than EA.

In fact, they've moved onto offering phat loot to shell websites barely a week old.

Need a quick $80,000 boys and girls? Act now. Start your Vanguard site today!

WHEN PARACHOOTS FAIL

You know, there's nothing quite like the Internet to get a community sharing, caring and showing unbounded brotherly love.

Stupidity of the player aside, in the end it took only the thread in question to be posted across a multitude of MMO forums, a dictionary entry to occur, the guy to quit, 8 days, and the Blizzard employees themselves to stop laughing for the thread to finally be locked and some resemblance of peace restored - that is, if it can ever be attained by the normal definition when you've got B.Net kidz involved.

So, I'm left wondering. Just where is the community manager/forum moderator job that should be amongst the 21 jobs currently advertised at Blizzard?

DOES THIS WIZARD'S ROBE MAKE ME LOOK FAT?

(Seen on CorpNews)

Is your skin a pasty white as a result of sitting in front of the computer all day long? Do you dream about THACO numbers, loot tables and dragons in skimpy platemail armor? Do females flee in terror from you when you mention "I work at a video game company..."?

Despair no longer! Salvation is here! Because sexed-up shoots of gaming women are soooo turn of the century, now it is the hairy, less beautiful half of the species turn!

I wonder if these three ever made it into the industry.

Edit: I see Lum wrote something pretty similar - only with a much better title.

EBAY 101

Little Billy learns the value of a WoW eBay auction.

DO NOT BID ON THIS ITEM.  BLIZZARD HAS DELETED MY ACCOUNT. I DO NOT THINK IT IS RIGHT FOR THEM TO DO THIS, BUT APPARENTLY AN ACCOUNT CANNOT BE TRANSFERED ONCE IT HAS BEEN PLAYED.  I DO NOT HAVE THIS ACCOUNT ANYMORE. 

I WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT ANY OF BLIZZARDS GAMES.  IVE BEEN PLAYING THEM SINCE WARCRAFT 1 CAME OUT.  THEY SENT ME AN EMAIL LAST NIGHT SAYING MY ACCOUNT WAS DELETED, NO WARNING.  THEY GAVE ME NO WAY TO CONTACT THEM IN RESPONSE.  THIS IS BULLSHIT.

Psst. Hey, buddy. The fact that you start the sale off with

NOTE: I AM NOT SELLING THE CHARACTER.  The character, and all in-game items belong to blizzard.  I am selling the time that I played the character.

shows you know goddamn well that selling WoW related paraphernalia is bad, mmmkay.

Here's a hint, sparky. Next time, don't display friggin' screenshots of your character that show its name and guild, allowing someone like me with access to WoW Census and the information that you are a level 60 Warlock on the Sargeras server with certain levels in tradeskills to work out you belong to the Dread Guard guild, and allowing someone like the Blizzard database guru to ban your sorry butt.

On the bright side, perhaps you can now use your new eBay account to make a purchase.

OH SHNAPS

What's this? I remember a time of content patches and the like, but it's been so long. This feels strange...alien...oddly arousing.

And after the 404 error was fixed people saw the class fixes, the words "PvP Battlegrounds" and the pictures of huge beastly things. People rejoiced, danced in the streets and wore flowers in their hair.

What's the catch I hear you ask? Because, you know, it wouldn't be WoW drama if there wasn't a catch. Well, the catch revolves around a phrase that many people originally skipped over in their head-spinning giddiness and only saw on a second or third read. A small phrase, but an important phrase nonetheless. A phrase very much along the lines of;

Currently in Development

We are planning on implementing the following features in upcoming patches.

Yes, that's right folks. Chat bubbles and buttons you can get from Cosmos/CTMod are first. The additions you've been waiting for and thought were the reasons for the content patch delay such as PvP and raid content are possibly still 3 months away.

Enjoy your shnaps.

ADVERTISING ONLINE

Gamerifts piqued my curiosity. MMODIG slammed it home. And I'm sure Terranova will write a book about it.

Funcom, developer and publisher of top video game titles like Anarchy Online and The Longest Journey, has signed an exclusive agreement with Massive Incorporated, creator of the world’s first video game advertising network. In a revolutionary deal all free players of Anarchy Online will see dynamic in-game advertising billboards in central areas of the game. Paying subscribers will not see the advertisements.

Mitch Davis, CEO of Massive Incorporated said "We're thrilled to add Funcom's leading titles into our advertising network and broaden our reach with their hundreds of thousands of gamers. We're excited about changing the game development business model to provide a new source of significant revenues beyond box sales and subscriptions and delivering a powerful new medium to global advertisers."

...

Trond Aas, CEO of Funcom stated "As opposed to a medium like TV you know that the gamers eyes are always watching the screen while playing games. With official ad measurement methods from Nielsen we are sure advertisers will cherish this revolutionary new opportunity to reach the extremely valuable 18 – 34 demographic. Through our own research we know that most gamers want in-game advertisement to heighten the sense of realism. Seeing that the live billboards in Anarchy Online do not interfere with gameplay I am confident our free players will welcome the permanent continuation of our complimentary subscription in the ultimate sci-fi MMORPG."

I'll reserve my 2 credits for when I get a chance to see what advertisements are actually used and how in fact they are used, but for now I'll just reply to this;

Through our own research we know that most gamers want in-game advertisement to heighten the sense of realism.

That's some pretty fucked up research right there, Trond. There's a difference between the advertising you currently have which contributes in-game realism (i.e. ads for in-game companies and guilds) and the advertising you're about to have which contributes out-game realism (i.e. revenue to cover your arses and the gaping hole created by implementing a free subscription plan).

Update: And for clarity's sake, successful advertising in NBA 2005 != sucessful advertising in a_random_MMO.

GUTEN TAG, MR. SMEDLEY

John Smedley, lead cheerleader of SOE, has emailed me with a reply to an email I didn't actually send.

We are likely going to add the option to use those models in the North American version in the very near future.

John Smedley

President, Sony Online Entertainment

Meanwhile, the traffic on this site achieved a spike like the punch at a Junior School Prom after it was linked to on the World of Warcraft forums, German style.

Does this mean I now have to stop this site from looking like it was crapped out by a piece of crap?

HEY YOU SOLUSEK RO KIDS. GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN!

It took 3 and a half weeks, but it seems my fortune telling powers were correct. Yes, I'm as scared as you are.

SOE has announced that after successfully containing all the Zek evilness in one place, two more merges will go ahead.

On March 22nd, Antonius Bayle will merge with Kane Bayle   and will retain the name Antonius Bayle.

On March 23rd, Bristlebane will merge with Solusek Ro and   will retain the name Bristlebane.  

We understand that server identity is important to our   customers and we will be integrating server titles into the title system to   allow you to display your server of origin, should you desire to do so.

The first merge is quiet poetic when you realise many people left Antonius Bayle for Kane Bayle, some even at a monetary cost. I'm sure many Kane Bayle players would welcome this move - that is, if they hadn't packed up their camps and phat lewt and moved to greener pastures months ago.

On the other side of the forums, and in regards to the second server merger, players are left wondering why their not-so-bad-population-wise long standing EQ servers are being thrown together and, well, words speak for themselves.

I LIKE TO WATCH

Debate wages on the World of Warcraft forum over whether an economy-fucking exploit has been fixed. And by fixed, I mean only made harder to achieve.

For those playing at home, the exploit revolves around filling up your mailbox and preventing anyone from outbidding you on items from the Auction House. Gasps were heard over the amount of money that could be gained from said exploit. Further gasps were heard when packs of gnomes with Fraps enabled computers realised they may not have to film and abuse the exploit to get it fixed.

Players that had bet on a fix for solo gnomes running around on the GM Island being patched first have apparently thrown away their tickets in disgust.