n3rfed: BUSTED

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April 25, 2005

BUSTED

Alan Crosby. I know you're googling your name again.

Posted by Cosmik at 08:43 PM | Permalink

Comments

As in every place we all work some people eventually find their niche in a job no one else ever really wanted but took out of desperation. Enter Alan Crosby and the role of Community Relations Manager for EverQuest.

In the beginning there was none and Brad McQuaid filled the roles of Mr. Maybe, Dr. No and Tommy Feedbacks. He failed. A dev/producer caught red handed ignoring customers in the great “Shaman can too train Alchemy” debacle. Not long after the position of “Community Relations Manager” was created.

Then there was Gordon Wrinn who tried to fill the roles of Mr. Maybe, Dr. No, Tommy Feedbacks and Baby Sitter Jane. He failed. He failed so gloriously badly SOE actually closed the EQ discussion forums. To this day I strongly believe none of this was his fault. Gordon was put in an untenable position and left to his own devices. He did pretty damn well considering what responsibilities were tossed on to him. It should be noted that a single person never carried the responsibilities Gordon Wrinn carried alone at SOE again.

Then there was Alan VanCouvering. Former Government employee who spent his days at work updating eqx.simplenet.com with loads of positive EQ spin. And his nights being a volunteer Senior Guide and playing EQ.

Alan became the prototype Community Relations Manager for EQ. All positive spin all the time. When problems arouse Alan perfected the “We’re the real victim’s here! You evil customers just don’t understand how HARD this is!”. Like it or not, that is the job of the Community Relations Manager.

Alan was made famous for saying things like, Bandwidth has no effect on zoning time, warriors can solo quite well actually, and my personal favorite of all time, “I would love to see hit counters outlawed on the net.”

A man of true vision and completely without shame, he used his position to protect the class he played in the game. It wasn’t until after Alan left the EQ team that Bards finally had their ability to continuously and indefinitely kill numerous Mobs removed.

Then there was Alan Crosby. Volunteer Guide, Senior Guide, GM and eventual Customer Services Manager, “promoted” to Community Relations Manager. Perfected the art of doing nothing and doing nothing when it was most important to do nothing.

Alan was notorious for flirting as Brenlo and it is no surprise to those that know Alan that both of his subordinates were and are women.

Patch messages have never been more incomplete than they have been under Alan Crosby. Alan is no fool, he defects blame beautifully. Patch messages are now posted in advance. Hence, those “responsible” for these changes should know if it’s in there or not! Another great gift given to Alan, the community has become jaded; a community used to poor service and poor communication or under Alan’s watch none at all. When he does communicate it is of course to let the customers know how hard things have been for the EQ development team and how hard they are trying to make the game better.

Now statements in regard to the community and the future come from John himself. The developers now go to the boards themselves and more often than ever before. What is it Alan did before his promotion? I’m not sure either. As in all things Alan has risen to his level of incompetence and we all know Alan is the very epitome of an empty suit.

Posted by: D-0ne | April 26, 2005 at 07:19 AM

Gordon Wrinn! GM Daegarmo. I still remember seeing him/her on Xegony (when it was one of about 10 servers, up from 4 in beta!)at the zone to Nektulous from Eastern Common Lands wearing a Shining Metallic Robe and everyone gathering around drooling at it. I guess that was before he was "promoted" to that horrible nightmare of a job. Ahhhh the old days, when bronze armor MEANT something, and Brad McQuaid personally answered your whiney e-mails and alt.games.everquest posts! Lum the Mad and Dr. Twister ruled the EARF.

Posted by: Ian | April 26, 2005 at 08:27 AM