n3rfed

BLIZZARD DOESN'T WORK WEEKENDS

What with April Fools occuring on Saturday this year, Blizzard has brought the usual bulletin board and website hijinx a day forward.

Wisps are revealed as the Alliance race to be included in the Burning Crusade expansion.

The Blizzard site unveils Burgercraft.

Caydiem claims to have left the Community Team for another position at Blizzard and leaks the 1.11 patch notes.

Night Elves will now lose a small percentage of experience after jumping.

Thank God. Finally.

Eyonix says "No, we're serious guys. Really." and threatens people that spread 1.11 rumors.

And it what seems to be an unoffical incident, a screenshot has been doing the rounds that suggests Murlocs are the Alliance race introduced in the Burning Crusade expansion.

A good photoshop, but nevertheless I claim hoax. Murlocs are more of a mascot than anything else (hence the plush toy at Blizzcon) and if the rumors of adding an ugly class to the Alliance in order to help balance numbers are anything to believe, this certainly wouldn't help that cause. Your buddy is having, in what is a rather technical term, "some shits and giggles".

Now, adding Ponies as the Alliance race, that's teh hawt.

BLIZZARD THE CLOWN OFFERING ILLUSIONIST MAGIC, PARTY TRICKS, AND SERVER TRANSFERS

11 months have passed since a Blizzard employee attempted to take a sheep, put it in low-cut wolf clothing, remove its glasses and throw on a bit of lippy, and then have it crowned Homecoming Queen to the cheers of the adulating crowd. Oh, and win that bet too. There’s always a bet involved.

Of course, that stuff only works in movies starring Hot Young Star Of Tomorrow #54 as Blizzard found out. Who’d have thought that it wouldn’t be possible to hide a high level raiding guild - a guild that seemingly and actually did pop out of nowhere - under the carpet?

I can only wager a guess that the folks over at Blizzard learnt an important life lesson from this incident as, to this day, Crusaders of Apathy still remains on Uther. It’s a pity then that they didn’t extend this lesson to asking themselves “What would happen if we instead moved people from other servers to Crusaders of Apathy?”.

Curadouranna, an alt of a level 60 that wishes to remain nameless, posted on the WoW General Board yesterday, observing two members of Crusaders of Apathy that she had never seen before. You see, avatars fully decked out in the best that raiding gear has to offer will tend to turn heads. A search of Warcraft Realms highlights the anomaly.

Galeb, a level 60 Human Mage and member of Crusaders of Apathy, was first seen on Uther on March 27 2006. No other record of this character residing upon Uther exists, which would mean the character, for it to have been created on Uther, would need to have reached level 60 and achieved its raid equipment in the space of a few days. Galeb, a level 60 Human Mage and previous member of the guilds The Pretend Heroes, Phoenix, and Tyr Invictus, was last seen on Sargeras on March 17 2006.

Likewise, Cheetarah, a level 60 Night Elf Druid and member of Crusaders of Apathy, was first seen on Uther on March 27 2006. Cheetarah, a level 60 Night Elf Druid and previous member of the guilds The Pretend Heroes, Phoenix, and Tyr Invictus, was last seen on Sargeras on March 15 2006.

No word yet as to whether Blizzard will tout the favored excuse of “We’re testing the realm transfer service!” that was used last year. Some people would suggest that Blizzard is preparing for such a service, but if we go by what has been said in the past, this is a service that has been supposedly been undergoing testing for 12 months now. Has no one at Irvine noticed the advertised transfers to underpopulated and new servers that have been running without hitch for months now and thought to observe them “for testing”?

More importantly, is Crusaders of Apathy taking applications so I can get off Lagrock?

CARNIVAL OF GAMERS

I'll be hosting the upcoming Carnival of Games, set for April 6, here at n3rfed.

The full details - how to submit an entry, loose guidelines, previous hosts if you are new to the whole Carnival thing and would like to check out the previous work - can be found over at the HQ.

Whether you've only got a short blurb to say, whether you're a recently jobless thinktank with a new theory to postulate, whether you're a current MMO developer with an observation to spare, whatever you have; whether you get 5 hits a day or whether you get 5,000; please do feel free to submit an entry. In the very least it'll increase the readership of your site, can result in some stimulating discussion, and as an added bonus will leave you all warm and fuzzy inside as you bask in the glow of your newfound Internet stardom. I guarantee it.*

I'll be accepting submissions up until the 5th, so I look forward to seeing you pass something my way, and then being back here on the 6th for the Carnival.**

*guarantee expires Januray 3rd, 1997.
**yeah, I'm talking to you.

OLDS

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you, Without an update to step to.

<Deep Inhale>, wash my hands of any spelling or grammatical errors, and here we go…

• Let’s start with what was most likely the biggest news of last week. The rumors started and spread quickly. Is Raph leaving SOE? Is the Star Wars license going shopping? Did Smed jump out a window? Was he pushed? How was his bank account accessed after the fact? What’s for dinner? Won’t someone please think of the newbies? Let’s review the hyperactive game of Internet Whispers that followed.

Is Raph leaving SOE? Yes, Raph has left his role of Chief Creative Officer after 5 years at SOE. Straight from the brain’s mouth.

Is LucasArts pulling the Star Wars license from SOE? Despite the hopes of some ex-SWG players, and the wishes of it being given to BioWare’s new studio, the answer is no. Sure, most likely there are no pats on the back for a job well done on the license as of late, but it remains just the same. As an added note, Smed attempts to stamp out some wildfire around the Internet before the official release goes out, and additionally weighs in on Raph’s departure.

Is BioWare being given the Star Wars license? No. See above. Oddly enough, not everything you read on the Internet is true.

Are all copies of Star Wars: Galaxies being recalled from shelves and replaced with a new LucasArts branded box? This thread would suggest yes. However, judging from what we know about the SOE/LA relationship from the above points, if this fact is indeed true it is most likely in order to make way for a new expansion collaboration box. With LucasArts as the publisher of SWG, a LucasArts SKU is not such a blinking neon sign screaming “OMG! Clue!”. SKUs can change with updates to a product line.

Are Smedley’s days as SOE President numbered? Oh, come on. Do you really think anyone is going to confirm publicly that a leg is cocked, ready to deliver the boot to the buttock? Although it can be argued that SOE is on the shakiest ground it has ever been - what with SOE and EQII achieving less than projected figures, Planetside going free for a year, and Matrix Online doing almost diddlysquat - those calls are usually delivered from the jaded ex-customer crowd, looking for some, any, payback. As a business, however, SOE continues to make good money from its products and its marketing endeavors. It’s ramping up to another major MMO license in the form of DC Comics, and it is pushing its clammy fingers deeper into the console market pie with key plans for the PS3. Yes, there’s so much more for SOE to improve on. We know that. The key here is that, for now, Smed has the right people convinced that he is the man to make that improvement happen.

To wrap up the day, Smed slammed back a stiff drink or seven and took part in what is becoming an almost regular occurrence – posting on the Star Wars: Galaxies forums in order to appease the angry, the confused, and the dejected only after the eruption occurs. Has the SOE Community Team not heard of preventative measures? Like, talking with the playerbase? Effectively increasing his lifetime post count on the forum by somewhere around the 500% mark, Smed churned out 100 or so posts performing the “We’re Better Off After The NGE, Just Give Us More Time” waltz, the “We’ve Still Got The 4^th Biggest Subscriber Base. No, Really!” tango, the “It’s Not The Current Design Team’s Fault. Koster And Company Screwed It Up Before Us” jig, and the “We Can Still Be Number One!” macarana. A brief dance list can be found here. With the Community Team busy with doing their usual job of posting links to website content and being overzealous with deleting posts, Smed called in the reserves in the form of the Design Team who proceeded to promise anything they could in order to appease the mob, and even managed to piss off a good part of the remaining player base by insulting non-combat classes and anyone who does not agree with their view of the Star Wars universe. Nice job. I’d have previously thought it would take at least 2 days of communication within the thread to achieve that.

So, about that whole Raph and SOE thing. Honestly, who didn’t see this coming? It’s been clear for a while now that Raph had been restless in his job at SOE. The man is a hands-on creative person, and the corporate role obviously wasn’t giving him the freedom he craved. That fact in itself has shone through in some of the more recent updates on his blog. Addtionally, a small team that Raph was working with at SOE, mentioned in passing, and which was aiming to investigate and build non-standard virtual worlds has failed to show anything for its efforts -  it is unclear whether that is due to the lack of finding anything worthwhile to build, or as a result of a block from the SOE suits. Now, with both Raph’s and Smed’s posts, we have it put in plain black and white that Raph wants to explore new virtual world models whereas SOE is afraid and not willing to change from the Diku clones it has piggybacked upon for the past 7 odd years.

In the end, it was undeniably a mutual split. Raph needs a workplace that fosters his creative juices, allowing him to get back to the role of designer, and which also gives him the freedom to explore some new worlds, if not all of them currently swimming around in his head. SOE needs a Chief Creative Officer that can tow the company line, stand up for Diku number 134, and offer Diku-specific ideas as needed. Not a Yes Man as such, but a “Yeah, that’ll fit with the current paradigm, but let’s put this little outside-of-the-box spin on it to get more customers” Man.

Of course, this means Raph will be posting even more on his blog. If that is even possible within the current boundries of time and space.

• BioWare opens up an MMO studio in Austin, Centre of the Universe. Already providing a new home for ex-SOEers Gordon Walton and Rich Vogel, I wouldn’t be surprised if leads from other MMO companies end up at BioWare soon. And establishing themselves in Austin, that’s no doubt what BioWare is hoping for. Supported by cashed-up backers, and with a reputation similar to that of Blizzard, expect some waves to come out of this studio. And yes, all signs point to it being a fantasy-based MMO.
• In reply to a number of unfavorable Vanguard beta impressions such as the following…
  • I laugh at games like Vanguard calling themselves "next generation" mmorpgs. There hasn't been a "next generation" mmorpg ever, since they all revolve around leveling treadmills and the endless pursuit of new loot until you eBay out of boredom. The real hillarity in this game is just how blatant the leveling treadmill/timesinks are.
          
    There's 3 Leveling treadmills in the game, and all of them are equal in lack of fun.
          
    Combat
    You'd think this is fun but it really isn't. They talked up a huge game about how Vanguard's combat involves more than just hitting Auto-Attack and hoping the monster runs out of Hitpoints before you do. You get to see a monsters attack ahead of time, and simply choose whatever button is flashing to deflect it. That's it, that's their huge "next generation" improvement to the boredom of playing a melee: waiting for icons to flash and then click on them hoping the server lag doesn't cause the spells to timeout.
          
    Solo'ing is non-existant. You can solo for hours and you won't come near the exp you get if you wait around for a group. Solo'ing is immensely boring, since every tactic involves spamming your direct damage spell while tanking. Deaths are harsh, you lose exp, you're naked, and you have to run back to your corpse. Usually you'll die on the way since monsters hit you from far away with their extendo arms of death. There's also this hillarious bug right now where the guards assist the monster its fighting and will kill you.
          
    Tradeskills
          
    I've only tried tradeskilling once, and was amazed at the time involvement. According to the forums, it takes just as long as combat leveling to level while tradeskilling. Apparently its like EQ2, you sit there and some bars go up and down and you have to mash flashing buttons until you "finish" a product. Apparently some guy did this for days and days and is level five and makes "Grade D table legs".
          
    Harvesting takes for fucking ever. You have to group with other harvesters and you fight trees like you would a monster. Thats right, you need to get certain harvesting classes too, like "gleaners" and "refiners" in your group, and you sit around wacking some tree until the tree dies and then you get some loot. You then have to rest, since you get "tired" while wacking trees all day.
          
    Want to solo while harvesting? Oh no you can't, because solo'ing doesn't exist at all in this game, if you solo it will A) take forever B) not get you anything meaningful C) you'll fail alot.
          
    Parley..or the worst thing ever invented and is made fun of constantly on the beta forums
          
    This is the best new "feature" of this great "next generation mmorpg". You have to parley with the npcs to get your quests. This is yet another ridiculous time sink. Thats right, when you want to talk to a npc about a quest, it opens a parley window where you fight the npc like a monster using arguments. You have the "dirty joke" spell, which lowers his liking of you, so then you have to reply with a "nice compliment" which then makes him like you more but then you have to keep the conversation interesting so you attack using a "interesting story"...I'm not making this shit up, you basically hammer keys until the conversation bar reaches the end(without other bars getting too low, its exactly like EQ2's crafting system) and you win the "parley".
          
    Here's what is so great about it. EVERY SINGLE NPC makes you parley with him to get quest info. What is funny about it is that 95% of them have no quests or interesting info to give you, so you go from npc to npc parleying, mashing keys, until you "win" the "encounter" and you get nothing from it.
          
    Overall
          
    This game just fucking blows. There's nothing positive I can say about it, it is that bad. I've beta'ed alot of video games and this one is fundamentally fucked. I don't think I could come up with a worse video game if I tried. I'm amazed the login screen doesn't have some sort of time sink or if I want to customize my UI I don't have to parley it with "witty jokes". LONG LIVE EVERQUEST BEFORE LUCLIN!!

…Sigil counteracted with their “leaked” February and March beta newsletters in an effort to show how many positive additions were being implemented. The effect was perhaps not what they had hoped. Observers pointed out how much-touted and Vision-centric gameplay mechanics such as the parley system were being scrapped for different, lesser versions, how basic elements such as combat speed were only now being revised, how slow much of the world and features implementation was, and nitpicked at many classes becoming “WoWified” – the Sorcerer being reduced to a Mage and the Vanguard Rogue picking up major WoW Rogue mechanics. Of course, don’t say this to an Associate Designer. It may hurt their feelings. For me, I’d be happy as long as I get op powers in the Psionicist chat channel.

• Over the last few weeks and months players that keep an eye on WoW’s Auction Houses have noticed a trend – an influx of Dire Maul specific items (Foror’s Compendium, Major Mana potions etc) with their per unit price dropping dramatically. Blame always fell upon the Asia-based farmers using teleport hacks, but proof was hard to come by besides watching them enter and exit Dire Maul quickly and repeatedly. That is, until a couple of videos did the rounds in quick succession. The first video shows one Hunter teamed with another Hunter entering Dire Maul. One minute into the video shows the filmed Hunter teleporting away, their character icon still visible on the film maker’s GUI. The second video explains a lot more – 14 minutes of a Hunter using a third party program to teleport around King Gordok, kill him, and rack up the gold. Word on street is that these Hunters have now moved onto Zul’Gurub and its raid loot.
• In totally unrelated news, MMO players cheat. Having experienced the RF Online grind, it’s not hard to see why.
• Showing up in a “Get paid to troll message boards” thread on the FOHrums, John Smedley is quickly embroiled in a discussion over whether SOE deliberately ships unfinished products or whether it is “a case of the bugs”. The bugs defense takes a beating as Smed is told specific examples of unfinished content and is additionally questioned over the deletion of valid threads on official SOE forums. By the end of the thread, Smed ends up admitting that SOE has not finished products as they should have been, that SOE employees have indeed been deleting threads that offer valid yet critical discussion, mentions for the first time a previous SOE employee spawning in-game items in order to sell them on auction sites, and even hints at employees such as George Scotto (VP of CS and QA – yay abbreviation bonanza) spawning items to give to friends. Of course, that’s ok because, as Smed puts it, “It is our game…”. By chance (and I’m still looking at that term from out of the corner of my eye), 40 pages later in one of the posts in which Smed admits to an unfinished product, a link is given that leads to an interview with the CBS Mailbag that was conducted after the Mailbag’s first scathing “Dear John” email collection. Within this new interview, Smed states “There has never been a release by Sony Online Entertainment that has been incomplete,". Ahhh, you can’t buy timing like that.
• Shadowbane goes free. As in free. Wolfpack has not yet mentioned including in-game advertising, or whether this is an effort to get people playing their product before unleashing the Shadowbane 2 beta upon the world, but they are hiding details. Details2Crush. To me, it seems akin to a “Meh, take it. See if we care.” type move. Edit: Well, hell. Just as I am about to publish this post I do a final check of the usual sites and comes across these links showing how, unfortunately, it was closer to a “Meh” rather than “Shadowbane 2” type move. Details2Crush some players, indeed. Ubiq is safe? Ubiq to do a Raph (take time) or a Lum (new job)? Which leads onto…
• …Lum leaves Mythic Entertainment and the promise of extra bagels to work at what is eventually revealed as NCSoft. Rather than moving from fixing things at Mythic Entertainment to fixing things at NCSoft, Lum took up the role of Designer. Supposedly with the aim of breaking things. And no. Lum is not working on a released project so stop asking him to fix Lineage and City of Heroes. Odds on bets are that Lum is working on seekrit Unannounced Brand #2.
• Jim Lee is brought aboard to serve in the role of Executive Creative Director on the DC Comic MMO being made over at SOE. Doomsday predictions already been forecasted after comparisons were made to another certain big-name license that a certain company failed to capitalize on. Do I need to point it out? As an aside, this is the place I felt Lum would be heading to after adding his hint at moving to Austin to the DC MMO employee ramp up/hemorrhaging equation. Which brings me to…
• …this update on Penny Arcade where the supposed hemorrhaging is highlighted (scroll down to the update titled “It’s a good thing I didn’t eat lunch”). Which brings me to…
• …the same update on Penny Arcade and donuts. Yes, shit-filled donuts. The linking bonanza starts here with Tycho prodding EQII’s business model and Gabe ripping apart EQII’s avatar models. Smed replies (under the title “SOE”), effectively saying “Low blow. Making art for games is hard, noob.”. Fast forward a little and Penny Arcade’s view on SOE holding the DC license is made abundantly clear with reference to shit-filled donuts. Smed counteracts (yes, back to that link) with a shitload of donuts. Smed won the talk, but the walk is still left. Meanwhile, Penny Arcade continues to crank out the WoW art, as per business agreements.
• I’m ashamed. I was feeling so lonely that day.
• Details of LucasArts’ Star Wars: Galaxies post-NGE focus groups (otherwise known as “What The Fuck Do We Do Now To Stop The Bleeding?” groups) emerge. Lawyer monkeys be damned;
  • Seems that someone who claims to have taken part in the "Los Angeles SWG research focus group" yesterday has posted details about the 2 hour session. From their post: "The discussion began with a round-robin introduction and telling what we felt the best and worst aspects of Galaxies are. Then the real discussion began. The moderator brought out three pamphlets. One, which I believe was entitled Paths To Power, outlined the implementation of a Dark Side/Light Side path a la KOTOR, for every profession. It also went into detail about re-doing missions as either side and seeing the different view on things, different abilities for each, etc. The group was very much interested. The second was entitled "The Galactic Civil War" and I'm sure you can imagine what it outlined: bringing the GCW back to prominence. It discussed controlling Star Destroyers and Blockade Runners, but also seemed to deadlock players as either Imperial or Rebel. The third outline basically discussed morphing Galaxies into Battlefront II, complete with having iconic characters not only immediately available during your mission, but for you to be able to -- yes, you're actually reading this -- play as movie characters. The group was not pleased. Then he told us that these were possibilities for expansion packs, not publish updates. The final question/topic was whether we'd choose any one of the pamphlet outlines to add to the game, or if we'd prefer for them to work on bringing things back that were taken out. As soon as he was done talking, the group said "Rollback" almost as one. The moderator seemed like he saw that coming, because he'd probably heard the term a dozen times already from the other groups. So there you have it. They're either going to continue the trend of "Expansion Packs aren't necessary (nudge nudge wink wink)", or, if they go by what the focus group asked, we will see a rollback of some degree. The number one issue brought to the moderator when he asked about the biggest negatives in Galaxies was the lack of diversity in professions and the overwhelming letdown that was the NGE for people like musicians, creature handlers, smugglers, etc. He was finishing sentences for us because he had obviously heard quite a bit about it in the previous groups. THAT'S ALL FOLKS" Hmm... Light/Dark side for EVERY profession? Awesome, because what SWG really needs is some Sith Lap Dancers. Keep that to Jedi only please. The Galactic Civil War has never been prominent. Unless you are talking about the ImperialCrackdown publish, which may as well have given Rebels 100,000 Faction Points everytime they logged in? As for the third discussion point, If SWG players wanted to play Battlefront II, they would be playing Battlefront II. It also saddens me to hear that the choices at the end were "Pay for stuff you don't want" or "Pay for stuff you want for many, many more months as we try to milk every dime". A rollback will never happen. If a rollback to Pre-NGE does happen, I'm sure I can look up some old Dev posts to find creative ways to say "That's not what I said" or "You're taking that out of context" or "That was a true statement at the time I made it".

With no rollbacks occurring, the field is narrowed as to what path will be taken. Either way, <star wars pun>these are not the paths players are looking for.</star wars pun>

• Computer Games Magazine unveils Massive Magazine, a monthly magazine “dedicated solely to massively multiplayer online (MMO) games”. Because the last two MMO magazines worked so well. Not that I think MMO publications can’t work. The Escapist has been doing fairly well for itself, I believe. But add in the words “monthly” and “printed”, and you’ve got yourself a good wad of out of date toilet paper. For it to survive it’s going to need a lot of exclusive features, and with the grape vine that is the internet, no feature remains exclusive very long.
• Dungeon Runners, NCSoft’s newest announced MMO, has opened beta signups. Yes, that would be the same Dungeon Runners that looks quite similar to a highly popular game, but the name seems to escape me right now. It hasn’t been confirmed whether or not the Blizzard artists that left to join NCSoft are working on Dungeon Runners, but with a number of upcoming MMOs sure to replicate the successful WoW gameplay mechanics, it was perhaps only a matter of time until someone mirrored the look.
• From GDC, a pre-mortem of Tabula Rasa. Major lesson learned? Hire more noobs. Abalieno should be happy.
• A 1.10 Priest video made the rounds, showing said Priest nuking better than a Mage. Both sides of the resulting argument can be summed up with “OMG, nerf! You shouldn’t be able to nuke like that AND have access to fear, shields and heals. Plus no one has holy resists!” and “STFU, noob. That Priest has the best +damage items in the game, is spec’d entirely for PvP, and is using an uber trinket and flask combination”. Really, you don’t want to read any more than that.
• Curt Schilling, known to even make whoopee with an Everquest cap on, signs up as spokesman for both Everquest and Everquest II. “Schilling is a shill” jokes outpace Leeroy Jenkins references on the internet.
• Minus DKP is serious business.
• Video of a guild wiping out an in-game funeral. Now, who will grieve for the grievers? Or should that be grief for the grievers? Grieve for the griefers when they in turn are griefed? Arrghh.
• The trials and tribulations of Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender MMO guilds goes national when the Washington Post weighs in and interviews Sara Andrews. Via Kotaku because newspaper subscriptions steal your soul. Previously, Blizzard came to the conclusion of “Hey. Maybe it’s a bad thing to discriminate against freaks. GLBTs! I meant GLBTs!” and apologized, calling it an “unfortunate mistake”. Earlier this week, Blizzard experienced some “minor server anomalies”.
• After proof that some players are unable to draw a distinction between Jeff the MMO blogger and Jeff the SWG Designer, Jeff Freeman closes shop. Thankfully for the sake of thoughtful discussion, Jeff soon rebooted his site in order to save some previous MMO-related digests and even now seems to be dipping his toe back in the water. Nice layout, by the way.
• Mischiefblog points to the recent Play On stats regarding small raid involvement amongst tracked WoW characters. Meanwhile, the end game content gap between raiders and casuals remains glaringly large. Which leads onto…
• …the 1.10 WoW patch designed to address said lack of casual content. Call me crazy, but for some reason I doubt an expensive farm quest and a race to kill the boss will sedate the playerbase.
• Auto Assault goes gold and goes advertising. A monthly fee is apparently still on the cards, but no word yet if you must pay that and wear the “I Break For Coca-Cola” bumperstickers.
• Star Wars: Galaxies advertisements hit television screens. Such fine pedigree.
• The WoW-killer arises. Do it not for yourself, nor your country. Do it for the giant floating head.
• Psychochild ponders whether everyone who worked on a game should get their name in the credits. Ken Troop confirms that people who left Turbine (regardless of the eons of hours put in, mind you) do not get a proper credit acknowledgement, and it serves them right for when they try and find a new job, neener neener, etc . Jason Booth accuses Ken of acting out of spite. Many others think Ken is being a poopie-head, but they don’t want to be credited with saying it.
• Roma Victor introduces a novel way to punish griefers and an effective marketing move to boot – crucifixion. I’d rather a stoning; make a mini-game out of it where the community can join in on the good clean persecution fun. For me personally, this incident harks back to my days of MUDs where player justice systems were not only in existence, but damn effective and interesting as well. Although, more often than not in a virtual world, this type of attention only encourages the griefer to enter the spotlight again.
• Blizzard uses phony law of “Attempting to trade off the substantial goodwill and recognition that Blizzard has built up in connection with its World of Warcraft product” in order to block a WoW guide being sold on eBay. Guide creator’s filed complaint uses the iron-clad “We think this cannot be the law” defense.
• Mythic reveals some Warhammer Online screenshots and other related multimedia. References to Warhammer Online stealing World of Warcraft’s visual style are made, supposedly without seeing that World of Warcraft stole Warhammer’s visual style first.
• Learn2play. Learn2satire.     
• Grimwell starts up his boards again, reaffirming what we already know. Working for a media outlet gives you access to all the good shit in the industry, but it’s you that has to swim in it. Good luck trying to open up your mouth and speak your thoughts when you’re that deep in it.
• Viscidus is killed for the first time WoW-wide by uber guild Death and Taxes after much time, money, and uberness. What was the fantastic loot for a large raid orientated boss that required the wearing of a lot of hard-to-find Nature Resist gear? A pair of pants with a Nature Resist attribute. Shaman pants with a Nature Resist attribute. For an Alliance guild. Yeah, they’re kinda pissed off about it.
• NCSoft teams up with Spacetime, some employees of which have worked on Privateer, Wing Commander and Star Wars: Galaxies, to create an “AAA-scale MMO”. Note the line about “original IP”, so even though it’s unlikely to be Wing Commander Online: Play As A Giant Space Cat, it’s a fair bet the title will be spacey and will be gunning for Eve Online.
• Blizzard holds a, surprise surprise, leveling contest on the Test Server with The Burning Crusade expansion beta slots offered as prizes. Krones took one for the team.
• Not MMO related, but SOE related. With further details about the PS3 being released almost weekly at this stage, SOE announced its first (and only?) launch title for the PS3 – Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom. To which I say “Er, why?”. Surely a new title in the Champions of Norrath series would have made better sense, both for players and the company. The Champions games have been well received both on their own and when compared to the Untold games. The Champions games have a successful license behind it in order to help draw in gamers. Fundamentally, and most importantly, players have repeatedly asked for a third Champions game whereas I’ve seen no one ask for another uninspired hack ‘n slash in the form of Untold Legends. You could forget the PS3, do Champions 3 on the PS2 and make a very tidy sum at either Christmas this year or early next year. I guess if you’re allergic to money, this Untold Legends on the PS3 makes perfect sense.
• Mark Jacobs and Al Gore went to the same High School together.
• Turbine releases a trailer heralding the upcoming Lord of the Rings Online: Something About Shadows That No One Will Ever Refer To. The trailer shows in-game footage of Gandalf and refers to the Ring Bearer’s epic journey. Of course, you won’t actually ever be able to play as these characters but you’ll be expected to think so just the same.
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Another Long Title was released to varied reviews (Too boring. Fun in small stints. No dragons. Nice graphics. It’s no fun eating Cheetos alone). Stephen Colbert got in on the act, with the most humorous bits watching him trying to pronounce fantasy names on the teleprompter.
• In other release news, Kingdom of Sky was released to generally positive reactions from Everquest II players. RF Online was released to people who wanted to know the answer to the eternal question of “If a Mech and an Elf met in the woods, who would win?”. Unfortunately for Codemasters, it seems not so many Westerners are asking that question.
• Suicide video of a level 60 epic-geared Warlock from a Korean PvP server. Thousands of eBayers are still crying into their keyboards.
• Another suicide video. Less drama, more shards.
• Square-Enix hints at a new MMO. Pencil in a few hundred thousand subscribers now.
• Next Generation puts together a piece entitled “The Hot 100 Game Developers”. Individuals that can be linked to the MMO industry are Raph Koster (ex-SOE), Jack Emmert (Cryptic Studios), Chris Metzen and Mike Morhaime (Blizzard), Richard Garriot (NCSoft – new file photo please!), Mike O’Brien (ArenaNet), and Bill Trost (SOE). Luckily, title of “The Hot 100 Game Developers” does not follow other connotations...

• Clearly the role of Community and Press Relations Manager is not to talk about things that people want to know about.
• Acclaim reopens its doors in order to focus on MMOs. “Making money” moved up to number 2 on their list.
• Er, what? <inane audience laughter>
• The Age of Conan class system has been revealed and explained. “Womanizer” conspicuously left off the list.
• Webzen continues its impressive title grab, announcing a publishing deal with a bunch of ex-Blizzard guys in the form of newly formed Red 5. Interestingly enough, Red 5 is apparently using the Offset engine for its first MMO.
• World of Warcraft Online: The Text Adventure. Too long to read. No Accept button.
• Naughty America (the game, as opposed to the place) introduces background checks. China, as usual, hits the ball out of the park. Next stop, background checks to prevent griefers moving to your game?
• Pheonix Down! Use a Pheonix Down, Goddammit!
• Ge Jin, a UCSD PhD student, is putting together a documentary on what has been labeled the Chinese Gold Farmer phenomenon. A preview of the film can be seen here.
• New Daedalus data released. Raph breaks it down. Data not discussed: 65% of males wonder where they may meet these females that play MMOs.
• FFXI announces more details about its upcoming expansion, Treasures of Aht Urhgan, unveiling 3 new jobs, 2 new game modes including a city that players must defend against invading NPCs, and chocobos. Chocobo sex fiends cheer. The expansion sounds fun, and I’d play too if the PlayOnline account system wasn’t a piece of arse.
• WoW “reaches 6 million players worldwide”. There’s a good reason “reaches” was chosen over the phrase “played by”.
• EQ2 is peekayed in China. Sorry, SOE. Try again when you are prepared to do something different and that which has a chance of surviving the Asian market.
• Steve “Akkirus” Burke, previously of Everquest fame, leaves Sigil. Exact reasons remain unknown, but Krones digs deepest.
• Ex-Bungie head reveals that he is now working on an MMO-reality show crossbreed. To debut on Fox, no less. Do we really want to see guys living in a house dressed up as female elves, causing drama after ninja looting their paychecks from each other? Yes.

<Exhale>

I'M AN INDIVIDUAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

Raph poses some questions on the back of some Nick Yee data.

Short form is what we already knew:

• People defer to tall people.
• People like attractive people.
• People like those who look like them.
• People like those who act like them.

Then, ask yourself the following questions:

Why do we offer short player races/species in these games?

What does it mean that someone chooses a race/species that is guaranteed to be discriminated against?

Why do we offer ugly races/species in these games? (FWIW, the data shows that ugly species/races get chosen far less than races and species that resemble humans.)

Why do people choose those if it means they get discriminated against?

I pose some answers in return.

Just passing through quickly, and I hope to discuss some other points here, but for now this’ll have to do: I disagree with the assumption that people defer to tall people.

Short example: Napoleon.

Better example: Research conducted upon height and social popularity as a result of it. Result? No correlation.

Abstract.

And (which for some reason is awaiting moderation);

Ok, to follow on from earlier;

So the question is why do we offer races or physical attributes to players that are defined as unattractive?

Simply put, because the players will choose them. When offered a range of looks (something that players constantly clamor for when following a game in production), players will take full advantage of them.

SOE and Cryptic Studios know this. Hence their extensive character creation tools used in EQII, SWG and CoH.

Sigil also knows this. Hence their bazillion race choices (half of them furry-orientated) planned for Vanguard.

Yes, physical attraction and “sameness” have an effect upon popularity and additionally influence our experiences with players, whether on or offline. Yet uniqueness is also a deciding factor in the formation of one’s identity, as outlined in Snyder and Fromkin’s much cited and much applauded 1977 study. In it, the Need for Uniqueness is defined as a positive striving for differentness relative to other people, and discriminated from abnormality and deviance on its positive connotations.

In short, being unique makes you stand out. Standing out in the right way will make you popular. Popular = teh own.

When it comes to MMOs, most of the methods people normally go about conveying their uniqueness – such as speech and body language – either cannot be utilized or they become so watered down in the translation (typing and emotes vastly pale in comparison to the real thing) that there are only a scarce few ways left. Thankfully, the most successful uniqueness affirmation approach remains largely valid in MMOs - Appearance.

So, when faced with the cold hard blank canvas of a character creator and finding that most of the typical ingredients – clothes and accessories – are not manageable, players seeking to be unique will instead fall back to the most effective way to distinguish themselves from someone else; making an unattractive avatar.

It is for these players that being unique, even at the price of a gnome with a butt for a head, outweighs the benefit of looking like everybody else when they find themselves competing against 64 other Mages vying for the last spot in a raid group.

- Cosmik, no stranger to making Ogres with the slider set to Maximum Ugliness in order to be recognized and accepted.

With that in mind, I think the answers to the other questions Raph postulates are something you can decide on for yourselves.

THWACK, DING, THWACK, DING

Transcribed from the pages of my new Hello Kitty notebook is a list of Japanese MMOs and Asian MMOs currently available in Japan. Not surprisingly, yet possibly scarily, this isn’t a list of all the MMOs, but rather a sample size of the most recent and/or big name ones.

Quarda Online (http://www.denyu-sha.co.jp) – Currently in development, it touts itself an MMO that introduces the ability to host game sessions.

Yogurting (http://www.yogurting.jp/start/?ban=yg02) – Everyone’s favorite psychedelic saga where you’re the schoolgirl fighting off things. Like tentacles, I guess.

Emil Chronicle Online (http://www.econline.jp/?ban=eco02) – Cuteness on acid. Spiked acid.

A3 (http://www.a3online.jp/?ban=a302) – Apparently it’s all about the Love and Hate...

Tantra (http://www.tantraonline.jp/?ban=to02) – Judging by the pictures on the right, half-naked men and meat on a plate are somehow involved. Just another regular day in Japan.

Ragnarok Online (http://www.ragnarokonline.jp/?ban=ro02) – Other than Final Fantasy XI, this is perhaps the most successful Japanese MMO to penetrate the Western market. Its Eastern subscriber base isn’t shabby either.

Final Fantasy XI (http://www.playonline.com/ff11us/index.shtml) – Come on. Do I really need to explain this one to you?

Freestyle (http://fs.hangame.co.jp/fs/index.asp) – A basketball MMO with a cel-shaded urban look. Word.

Lineage (http://www.lineage.jp/) – Where everyone, and I mean everyone, is more hardcore than you.

Tales of Eternia Online (http://www.toeo.jp/) – Namco’s long running “Tales Of...” RPG series taken, well, online. Standard Japanese fare, complete with isometric layout.

Barvillage (http://barvillage.net/) – Owl + Bear = Owlbear. What else needs to be said?

DarkStory (http://www.darkstory.jp/) – How they tease me with their English named links only to present me with more kanji than I can poke a kimono at. Oh yeah. Apparently there are big explosions and giant white fighting teddy bears.

Xenepic Online (http://www.xenepiconline.jp/) – Your one-stop shop for all your epic xen. Looks quite similar to Ragnarok Online.

Mabinogi (http://www.mabinogi.jp/) – Buy cuddly animals and stuff. *Squeeeeeel*

Tales Weaver (http://www.talesweaver.jp/) – Clone number 43 straight from the Nexon MMO mould. Nexon are the masters of churning out these low resource intensive games.

Haten (http://www.haten.jp/) – Blue hair. You’ve got to have blue hair. It’s doctrinal.

Ran (http://ran.excite.co.jp/) – For anyone who has ever wanted to dress their avatar up as Lara Croft.

Risk Your Life Part II (http://www.ryl.jp/) - This time they’re offering $2,000,000. They’ll pay up. Really. Hello?

Derby Owner’s Club Online (http://www.doc-online.jp/) – Sure, you can ride a horse. But can you whip the competition off theirs?

With Your Destiny (http://www.wyd.jp/) – Oversized weapons at no extra cost.

Tokimemo Online (http://www.tokimemo-online.konami.jp/) – Schoolgirls kicking arse. No, no. Kicking arse. In any case, go back to school and live your dreams of making out with the captain of the football team. Erm.

Fantasy Earth: The Ring of Dominion (http://www.playonline.com/fe/index.shtml) – Square Enix states this “RPG x Action X Strategy hybrid” fits no current genre. As McIGN states, “The game promises to ofer [sic] the fun of an MMORPG, with character building elements and battles taking place over a network. It also promises the depth of a real time strategy title where you team up in battle with friends. Finally, the action elements see players take control of a general”. Free set of steak knives is included.

Trickster (http://www.trickster.jp/trickster/index.html) – Epic animal ears ftw.

Granado Espanda (http://granadoespada.jp/) – One of only a few Asian MMOs with a distinct visual style rather than falling back on “Hay! It’s fantasy. Big swords and blob pets olol!!1”. Offers the player a team of characters to control and adventure with instead of the usual single avatar.

Silkroad Online (http://www.silkonline.jp) – Sharing similarities with Guild Wars and Lineage II, the game would probably enjoy some success if translated to the Western market.

Front Mission Online (http://www.playonline.com/fmo) – Square Enix’s long-running mech game taken online. It has still a while yet to go in development and will definitely need that time if previews are anything to go by.

Phantasy Star Universe (http://www.phatasystaruniverse.jp) – The sequel to the ground-breaking Phantasy Star Online, PSU sports both online and offline play. Expect a large number of people trying to hack character data when the game goes live.

Gundam Online (http://www.universalcentury.net) – More a simulation and less of an RPG, this online version of the widely popular anime/game/franchise sees you piloting giant robots. Duh. The expansion, Dawn of Australia, allows me to crush my noisy neighbor under my giant steel foot. Yay.

Lineage II (http://www.lineage2.jp) – Castle warfare, farmer versus non-farmer gank fests, elf upskirt shots. You know the drill.

Kwonho (http://kwonho.hangame.com/) – Created in Korea, the Japanese are taking great interest in this online fighting game. With almost nothing but fighting games being played in Japanese arcades, it’s not hard to wonder why.

Come on Baby (http://www.comeonbaby.co.kr/) – As above, a Korean game with interest from Japan. Less fighting this time and more drug-induced kart racing.

Note: Dark Age of Camelot and Everquest 2 (published by Square Enix) both offer Japanese localization but are yet to enjoy any significant subscriber numbers. Even with a large nod to a mechanic loved by and introduced by the Eastern market (PvP), taking an ancient European-themed and Western-styled MMO in the form of DAoC to Japan was a gamble at best.

----------------------------------

Disclaimer. Jet-lag induced rambling to follow. If you do not wish to be subjected to thoughts possibly devoid of any thought, click here and enjoy true love.

Thwack.

Looking back up at the list, I’m struck by something. A something that has little to do with the correlation between mini-skirt length and the level of an avatar, and more to do with the types of online virtual worlds available to Japanese consumers.

Sure, my list contains your standard stab-a-rabid-rat-in-the-rat-spleen-eight-times-please-can-I-have-some-more fare. Japanese gamers play that stuff as much as anyone and they are damn good at it. Japanese gamer skills are pretty much classified as an export product these days.

Instead, if I may draw your attention away from the mini-skirts and to the selection of MMOs within the above list that eschew 10 foot long swords, ogre populations requiring a player-driven genocide, and a world in the throes of torment from which only you can save it as the One True Hero. Nevermind those hundred thousand other One True Heroes also saving the world.

Pony clubs and horse racing. Team-based basketball. Stylized kart racing. School-themed advancement. We Westerners had always known Japanese games to be a little, well, different. You see, there’s this little thing called the Internet, so we’re not totally isolated from getting our daily hit of J-Pop encrusted multimedia. But perhaps in much the same as your typical cable channel watcher will exclaim “Oh, that’s those crazy Japanese for you” in reply to Mr. Takahashi from Kyoto smothering himself in breadcrumbs and jumping into a tub full of cockroaches in an effort to win a holiday to mainland China, we had partly dismissed Japanese MMOs as nothing worth looking at. “All I see hitting my shores from Japan is the latest Mario title and Dragon Fantasy Hunter VI for the PS2.”

And yet, as we Westerners have repeatedly lamented the current situation in today’s MMOs – the lack of any diversity between DikuMUD_clone_14 and DikuMUD_clone_15 in terms of setting, character advancement, end game, and skill system – those crazy Japanese have not only been exploring alternative virtual world mechanics, but have made a bona fide business out of them.

And what do we have? A bunch of DikuMUD clones that Western consumers could quite possibly handle being the norm if only there was some…wait for it, this is going to be a revelation…variety. Hallelujah, yes! It’s variety. Puzzle Pirates, Second Life and A Tale In The Desert are notable and welcome exceptions, but they are quite obviously failing to fill the current demand for varying MMO types. And simply put, this demand will only continue to rise, rise and rise like a dress on prom night.

Ding.

So why is it that in this Western castle of ours - one set by ourselves high above everything and filled with academics, developer blogs and armchair critics – are developers afraid of acting outside the box?

• Publishers want to back a sure-fire  money maker. Mr. Smith-Smythe, President of Marketing at NCBlizz Online, leans back in his plush office chair that took a whole family of cows to make and skims over the latest MMO market report. Even his wife yelling at him over the speaker phone does little to dissuade Mr. Smith-Smythe’s eyes spinning like bags of phat loot as he observes the top 3 MMOs all follow the same fantasy level-based whack-a-mole formula. The newest MMO to hit the market has even reached the second highest amount of subscribers in a record time. Bling! More phat loot spins through his skull.
• Making a clone of a product currently on the market is easier. Part of the battle of achieving a moderately successful MMO is getting it on the market when the time is right, with it on budget, and without making any clusterfuck problems putting it there. So, what better way to achieve this than by doing what other companies did right and not doing what other companies did wrong. Playing with new genres and sweeping mechanics to game moulds scares the suits, and let’s just say it’s not their pants they’ll be shitting in.
• Developers like making and playing the current games. Wow. Who’d have thought someone would actually, you know, want to make this stuff? Crazy thought, huh?

To which I offer the flipside and perfectly good reasons to make Cosmik’s Virtual Date Sim Online. With mechs.

• Money, money, money. Sure, publishers want to make money. Don’t we all? I’ve got habits to meet, dammit. But there’s a saying in the games industry that rings a great deal of truth - “Publishers don’t know what they want until you give it to them.” Giving a marketing executive access to data on the subscriber data of the top 3 MMOs only encourages them and that’s something we can certainly do without. Take a look at the Star Wars: Galaxies NGE for an example of what a publisher making design decisions can do for you. Meanwhile, a potentially huge part of the market remains untapped because no one is making an online world for the stay-at-home-mum who loves her daily dose of quick puzzle games, the 14-year-old-student that has no interest in dragons but wishes he could step into the shoes of his favorite sports player, or the Vietnam vet who couldn’t give a flying fuck about an avatar in girly clothes and instead wishes to control a country. Niche? No, I don’t think so. The market share is there, and slooooowly Western developers are becoming aware of it; eyeing each other off to see who makes the first move so they may clone the success. The first developer to comprehensively serve these potential consumers will never have to make a level-based fantasy game again.
• Easy moder! To quote another much-quoted passage, “Making games is hard.” I don’t have to spell it out that MMOs are not exempt from this. Even with current MMO paradigm as a benchmark, no one is spared from troubles within their own project during pre-production, production and release. So, hey, you may as well make any type of game you want, right? Well, that and fantasy level/class-based, loot-centric MMOs are one of the highest resource intensive online games to make and balance. There is enormous scope out there for virtual worlds that utilize simple, and most importantly fun, mechanics – those from your Maddens, your Katamaris, and your Tetrises…es - not yet properly explored in the multiplayer arena; an example being those translated from single player games such as the Asian market is currently exploiting. The result is a line-up of Japanese, Chinese and Korean companies that have obtained the enviable position of maintaining a stable of online worlds that offer distinctive play styles and compliment each other within the company’s portfolio. The aforementioned stable is a notion that Western companies like SOE and Turbine are trying to achieve, but they are ultimately falling short of their expectations due to product monotony and product overlap.
• It’s my dream game, dammit. Well, what can I say? If a developer loves the current flavor and wishes to keep contributing to the bloated belly, all the more power to them. But it is here that I must suggest – nay, insist – that it is becoming increasingly more crucial to the growth of people within a company and to the success of the company itself to be flexible and willing to explore alternative mechanics. In the very least, hammering out a non-conformist title that lends itself to fewer resources through the intelligent use of its game mechanics will provide a company with the increased revenue that is needed in order to create their DikuMUD-clone-to-beat-all-DikuMUD-clones.

Thwack.

“Ok, Cosmik. Quit yer blabbering. What do you propose be done about it?”

In much the same way that relates to the current MMO paradigm, I doubt there is any sure-fire recipe that will churn out a successful alternative online world – much to the chagrin of Mr. Smith-Smythe. But I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t enjoy playing MMOs that entertained some of the following:

• I take off my robe and wizard hat – A small, yet albeit expanding group of sci-fi and super-hero games aside, your fantasy themed online worlds stack the lineup. This is still your daddy’s MMO, boy. Content-rich worlds such as the Era of Exploration (1500s), steampunk, and weird fiction (HP Lovecraft) fail to raise a hand even with the considerable weight of their fan bases behind them. It is to our own detriment that we have yet to experience the joy of discovering a new island off the coast of South America and trading with its natives, the delight of finishing the assembly of a brand new rocket powered machine, or the sheer thrill of being scared out of our pants upon entering a demon shrine deep beneath Paris. Yet, it must be said here that the setting of an online world is merely the paint job; it is what’s under the hood, the game mechanics, which really gets the motor running. Set yourself up with the right engine and you can spray your ride whatever color you damn well choose. So let’s move on.
• Multiple avatars – This essentially covers what Granado Espanda is promising to bring to the table, but why has no one done this before? We’re not talking about alts on the same server here, bub.
• Avatar-less – Go for the Big Picture. Trade in your naked elf for control of a nation, your skills for the command of an army. Players take on the roles of countries and interaction with other players unfolds in the form of wars (PvP and PvE), diplomacy (socialization), allegiances (guilds), foreign affairs (crafting and trade), and homeland affairs (a new mechanic that sees you managing your population in order to gain added benefits). There’s money in them thar war game hills.
• Do-be-do-be-doo – If there’s one constant across the world, regardless of race, religion or sex (tee hee) it’s music. Allow players to take up an instrument, improve their proficiency in it within a real player skill-based system, and form a band with other like-minded individuals. Give players the in-client tools to film themselves and create video clips. Use VoIP to freestyle on the streets. Play from bar to arena and bling yourself like there was no tomorrow. Oh, and dancing. You can never have too much dancing. If push comes to shove, I guess you can always add kobolds and allow players to smack them over the head with guitars.
• Hi, I’m your sports role model – Building upon the competitive nature of human beings, offer a virtual playground for players to immerse themselves in. For example, allow the world to be a ski field. Include a class-free system that gives players the opportunity to ski or snowboard when they want to, mechanics free of any levels resulting in the player needing to use their skill to navigate a tree run, embedded games in the form of snowball fights and giant inner tubing, socialization within the nightclubs and bars of the town, competition as a result of downhill runs and half-pipe jams, and construct beautiful log cabins. The snow industry is undeniably massive in terms of income and customers, but feel free to swap it out for your sport or lifestyle activity of choice.
• Create and meditate – Puzzle Pirates and Second Life are merely the tip of the proverbial iceberg for puzzle and sandbox based online worlds. As more and more a) mature gamers and b) casual gamers begin to arrive at our virtual world doorsteps – and they are - , they will be searching for online versions of the crosswords they enjoy completing in the newspaper and the creation hobbies they undertake on the weekends. We shouldn’t write off this demographic just because they can’t take Ragnaros down in an hour. These are the people buying all the internet connection starter kits at this very moment.
• No, you carry it – How’s this for a proposal? A virtual world where players compete against another for control of the real-world simulated economy, whilst at the same time cooperating with one another for survival of the virtual world. Hey look, it’s M.U.L.E. Online. Make it.
• Woof – Their success is no fluke. They cater to the very nature of human beings and have solid game mechanics to boot. I am referring to games such as Pokemon, Nintendo, and on a similar level, Tamagotchi. Money hats to the developer that creates a virtual world catering to and facilitating the bond between customer and virtual furball. Show contests, walking in the park with other players, sharing breeding tips. The kids go nuts for this stuff. Hell, I’d log in every other day just to make sure Fluffikins stayed worm free.

Ding.

Ok, here’s the deal. Not everyone wants to level up their Orc Wizard up to level X and then go raid 3 times a week, replaying the same game patterns over and over, learning nothing new and, as Raph would put forth, not having fun. It’s the reason why even amidst this fresh new wave of WoW-induced popularity we are experiencing, players are reporting more cases of burnout and cancellations amongst the current generation MMOs.

Yet we Westerners remain to look sideways. To look elsewhere for stimulation. We’re so intent on feeding the bottom line that we resign ourselves to churning out the next clone even when we’ve had our fill. We’re taught to fear chance or change, and dismiss anything that doesn’t fit our mould. We look for validation, not inspiration.

There’s a huge Non-Level Non-Skill Non-Fantasy market out there waiting to be tapped for both monetary and enjoyment value. It’s no rumor of a secret southern counterweight continent (hah, who would believe that?) – it’s true.

We say the Japanese with their stylized arcade and action themed online games are crazy.

Are we not in fact the crazy ones?

COSMIK DOES JAPAN

I think you forgot to come back.

Posted by: Raph | March 05, 2006 at 11:10 AM

Not quite Raph, not quite. I did however end up lengthening my trip for a while, hence my promise of two weeks giving both Time and Space a good kick in the nuts.

And like any good Auntie (huh? What's that meant to mean?) I have brought you all back some travel snaps.

So, without further delay, I submit my essay "What I Did On My Winter Holidays". Geishas and hot tubs not included. What happens in Japan stays in Japan.

-----

First stop as soon as I aligned from the Shinkansen, luggage in tow and eyes sagging out of my head, needed to be an important one for it would set the tone for the rest of my jaunt. Find the hotel, get some rest and find out where I would need to go tomorrow? Wander around in a daze, gawking at seizure-inducing neon? Grab some much needed food at an Izakaya? No way. It had to be karaoke, baby.

Akihabara, also known as Electric Town for obvious reasons, didn’t fail to live up to the hype. Modern cement pagodas chockfull of level upon level of video games, cameras, anime, phones and the all-important cosplay uniform are but an elevator-ride-standing-next-to-a-sweaty-fat-kid away.

Here is where I name drop.

Although still mostly confined to the back street alleyways of Toyko, extreme trolley skating is beginning to take off big time in Japan.

The view presented to people as soon as they exit the main thoroughfare that is Akihabara Station. Yes, that's an online game. Across from my train station in Australia a disgruntled street worker, a pack of cigarettes protruding from her blouse, stares me in the face and tells me to bugger off.

The legends are true. Females do indeed play MMOs. Lineage II to be precise. Not shown here is the group of male students that quickly entered the corridor, no doubt in a frantic effort to grab the seats closest to our heroines.

Rather than sorting video games by platform and then perhaps by type (online vs offline, AAA title vs budget), video games in Japan are instead organized on the shelf according to developer. That is, at least in the case of Square Enix. Money can’t buy that kind of brand loyalty. (Are you listening, EA?) Of note, circled in the picture are the only two MMO boxes that could be found in the entire 7 levels of this store – both Final Fantasy XI related.

Hint books and are huge business. Once again, Final Fantasy XI takes the front row. Those of you needing help with your guild are probably going to need more than a book though.

If it’s not Final Fantasy XI, chances are it’s Ragnarok Online. On the other hand, it’s always about the schoolgirls.

The PC selection from another multi-segmented super store. Yes, this is the entire PC selection. One copy of World of Warcraft, one copy of a World of Warcraft game card, and, quite eerily, one copy of Ultima Online fill the ranks along the likes of Grand Theft Auto and Harry Potter.

Regardless of how popular video games are in Japan, they all pale in comparison to Pachinko. I think it has something to do with the stink of Pachinko parlors jumping out and mugging any passing video game.

The entrance to a semi-popular tourist attraction. Japanese high-tech audio equipment at its finest there, folks.

What’s a trip to, well, anywhere without a visit to the local brewery?

More karaoke soon followed.

 

Excellent country. AAAAAA++++++. Would go again.